It’s no secret that last night’s presidential debate was…well, a huge disaster.
Literally no one could make sense of it all, and beloved political commentator Belcalis Almánzar, also known as Cardi B, was right there in that sinking ship with us.
In what became an 11-part video series on her Instagram, she started off the night by telling Joe Biden to “get fuckin’ spicy” and sent a message along to Biden’s team by saying, “…tell Joe to get aggressive. … Don’t let this man [Trump] pick on you, he just wanna do a show, so you gonna give him a show.”
In the next video she talks about how Biden also gets bad press despite Trump saying he doesn’t, and proceeds to yell, “Don’t let him talk over you!” at Biden.
She then went on to tell Biden not to laugh and told him to call Trump “dumb” instead.
When the debate turned to COVID-19, Cardi told Trump, “Dr. Fauci don’t even fuck with you. Didn’t you fire Dr. Fauci, why are you even bringing him up?” and then made it very clear that she wasn’t into moderator Chris Wallace and said he needed to be replaced.
Kulture (Cardi’s daughter) then made a brief apperance as Cardi told Biden, “Send him to the prison because this motherfucker spent $750 on taxes, meanwhile my little ass is paying millions.”
When Trump said he paid “$38 million one year” and “$27 million one year” in taxes, Cardi questioned, “How long ago was that?” Her dog (or a dog that belongs to someone in her house) then began barking at the air.
Cardi then pulled out her mental flash cards and brought up the economic recovery with, “This is the thing about when Obama became president. The economy was already down, so all those eight years he was building it up.”
When Biden talked about the police, Cardi said, “There’s gotta be something to fix the bad cops, like a law.” Kulture then cried in the background.
Her frustration with the moderator mounted when he asked Biden why he didn’t intervene in Portland. She said, “He’s not the president now. How’s he gonna call these people if he’s not the president?” And ended this video by saying that Trump, “creates division.”
Cardi started the next video by saying, “Don’t talk about people’s kids,” when Trump brought up Biden’s son, Hunter. And when the topic switched to climate change, Trump said “I want crystal clean water and air. I want beautiful, clean air,” Cardi then questioned him with, “So why did you cancel all those climate change plans?”
Cardi then ended her debate commentary by telling her followers to go vote in her caption and expressed sympathy for Hunter Biden in the video itself. She said, “I really felt really bad when Trump came for Biden’s son like that, I felt that was very unnecessary” and went on to say “Joe Biden’s family has suffered through so much shit, especially ’cause his wife and one of his kids got killed in a car accident…so you can imagine what type of pain and what type of shit his son had to turn to for comfort, just like a lot of Americans in this country.”
Her final note was, “I wish that Joe Biden would have spoken to me before he did that debate cuz I would have told him he better roast his ass, and I got mad jokes under my belt.”
Thank you Cardi for guiding us through this wild ride with you.
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